Monday, March 18, 2013

Rumors About Carl Quiltman

Carl Quiltman writes short stories about quilting. Of all the quilt mystery books available on Amazon with very good reviews, Carl Quiltman suffers from quite a few one star reviews, despite which, he does fairly well in the rankings. Odd.

It is rumored that Carl Quiltman was a man noted for his beautiful art quilts before a long arm quilting machine fell on his head while he attempted to repair it for a friend. He was rushed to neural surgery where a steel plate had to be put in his head. Major damage was done to his cerebral cortex.

He could no longer quilt. That area of his brain was mangled into a gray, lifeless jelly. Despite his handicap, he took up writing. He writes what he thinks are quilting mystery books, which are actually bizarre trips into a mind lost to random synaptic electrical storms.

I tried to interview Carl, but he ran at me with a long knitting needle, threatening to plunge it into my eye. I had to call the police. I was afraid he would hurt himself or someone else.

They let him continue to write his quilting stories in a private mental institution that he now resides in.  Carl Quiltman believes the staff are extraterrestrials, creatures with an agenda. A quilting agenda. He believes the aliens want to infuse those intelligent and creative makers of art quilts with a new level of inspiration. He feels that he is their avatar, there cosmic representative, their public relations person.

I am beginning to believe he is just as he believes, and that scares me.

Carl Quiltman on Kindle